The Reason
by Kusco
Summary: The untold tale of how Annie's addiction to pills caused her life to unravel. Pre-first season one shot


**The Reason**

"There _is_ a reason all of this is happening to me."

The affirmation had taken on a completely different meaning for her over the last year. Throughout all her life Annie thought on it whenever something bad had happened to her. Her dad had told her to use it to let her know that there were no accidents. That even when bad things happened, there was an ultimate purpose or lesson that could be taken from it.

Granted, having such an outlook wasn't easy. When she was seven, her neighbor's St. Bernard got loose and chased her down the street until she crashed her bike and broke her leg. She took it to mean she needed to stop using training wheels. When she was ten and her teacher told her, in front of the whole class, to "stop being such a pretentious know-it-all". She decided that it was a test for her to try harder. When she was thirteen and her parents got a divorce. That one took a long time to figure out, but she decided it was so she could learn to better appreciate her dad. But that mantra was put to its ultimate test when she entered the Hell known as Riverside High.

When most the girls her age were finally starting to fill out, she started gaining weight. When her friend started going on dates, her mom had her fitted with thick braces, she'd cried when the orthodontist declared they wouldn't come off for three years. Might as well have been a death sentence. She'd thought she was finally making progress when she made the cheer team; that maybe the previous setbacks were preparing her to appreciate the popularity that cheering would bring. She didn't even make it a full year before she was kicked out and learned that she'd only gotten in out of pity.

She only had two sources of solace in all of this time. The knowledge that she was still on her way to be valedictorian, and her best friend Trent. He stuck with her through everything. When Aubrey Adaams, cheer captain, led her classmates in calling her Fatty Annie. Trent would let her know he could only see the beauty inside of her. When Troy Barnes ignored her very existence, Trent was the one to tell her that someday he'd come around. He even stuck with her when her face broke out. Normal acne treatments didn't work. It was like her zits were immune to even penicillin. Her mother finally took her to a specialist and she was able to clear her face up enough to actually look like she had a face.

So it felt perfectly natural for her to ask Trent out at the beginning of her senior year. When he said yes she almost cried she was so happy. Surely everything that had been happening to her was to get her ready to be with Trent.

That elation quickly melted into confusion. Trent, who had always been able to talk with her about anything started to close up. Where before, he was the only one that would hug her, now he seemed to avoid touching her at any and all costs. Annie tried everything she could think of. She found dresses that promised to look good no matter how much she weighed. She demanded that the specialist give her something stronger for her face. And she made sure that she never even mentioned Troy's name again, just so he knew he didn't have to compete.

Then came the day that Troy, for the first time, actually joined with Aubrey and her cronies in making fun of her. One of the reasons she'd always carried a flame for Troy was because, while he was popular, and he never told anybody to _not_ make fun of her, he never participated either. She simply didn't exist to him. And that was more than any boy, besides Trent, had ever done.

She'd had an argument with Trent and he'd rushed out of the cafeteria crying. She chased after him and wound up tripping and doing a nose dive right into Aubrey's tray of mash potatoes and gravy. Annie jerked herself back, flinging potatoes all over Aubrey and anybody in the vicinity.

"What's wrong you little pig?" Aubrey's perfect face sneered at her. "Didn't get enough lunch so you had to mess your face in mine!"

"Ha! Good one Aubrey!" was all Troy said with his arm around Annie's mortal enemy. He probably hadn't even known who Annie was, but it was enough cause Annie to run from the cafeteria and keep running until she got home. Her mother's boyfriend, Dr. Robert Mitchell had to go back to the school to get her car. All the while Annie laid face down on her bed, sobbing in a pillow.

Her mother came into her and told her to chin up, that all she had to do was make it to college. Then things would get better. But Annie insisted that she couldn't. She screamed and broke one of her porcelain dolls. It was too much! Trent barely spoke to her, all of her classmates and even her teachers hated her, and now Troy had broken her heart. She couldn't go on. Even when she studied there was always the distraction of being Riverside's biggest joke, or knowing that she was a terrible girlfriend, or that Troy was just as bad as everyone else. Nothing could help her. Nothing.

Cue Dr. Mitchell. Turns out he _did _have something that could help her. As a pharmacist he had something that would help her focus. That would make her feel confident. That would help her forget. He had a bottle of pills which he gave her for free and told her to just stick to the dosage and soon she'd see her problems melt away.

And it worked. The miracle drug focused her mind like a laser. If she needed to drown out the taunts and the scorn, a pill was all it took. If she wanted to go on an all night study-fest? A pill gave her what she needed to not even yawn. And when she was under the care of the drug it made her strong enough to talk to Trent and insist that he start acting like a proper boyfriend.

It was at Homecoming, however, that she noticed it had started to be less effective. The night before the dance she'd taken the proper dosage so she could pull an all-nighter, but she didn't feel an ounce different. She'd even crashed halfway through the night in her textbook no less. So when Trent came to pick her up for the dance, she made him wait in the living room while she stared at the bottle and decided that one extra pill wouldn't make that much of a difference.

At first things went well. For the first time in a long time she felt perfect! Trent even held her hand! Whatever timidity he'd had before, she'd conquered. After months of trying, begging, and insisting he was touching her. She didn't even care when some of the girls laughed at the way they danced. And she was aware of the jokes. The drug sharpened all of her senses. She could hear every word, but she was finally having the dance she'd always dreamed about, so what did it matter?

After the dance Trent took her home. But she insisted that he come in. Her mom was out with Dr. Boyfriend. Reluctantly, he agreed. And that's when her head pounded and the fear crept in her brain. If they didn't sleep together tonight… she'd lose him. He had been affectionate enough. It was a sign. It had to happen tonight! She could almost hear someone whispering it in her ear.

Over the course of the night her breath grew more shallow, but that was because he was resisting her advances. Her heart pounded, but that was because they were starting to get in an argument. She had a hard time focusing her eyes on him but that was because she had been crying. And finally he agreed and they went into her room.

It was horrible for both of them. The next day he told her that it wasn't her fault. But Annie only had one thing going for her, she was smart. And she could see the resentment in his eyes and hear the anger veiled by kind words. He stopped talking to her about two weeks afterward. And when he would pass her in the hall she could hear him whispering about her. She could hear him even after he left.

That was when "There _is_ a reason this is happening to me." became "Why is this happening to me?"

She stopped taking her medication after that. Not the life saving pills that Mitchell had given her, but her acne medication. What did it matter? And she was starting to believe that it was starting to have weird side effects. Things hadn't exactly gone right ever since she started taking it anyway.

By the time Troy and Aubrey became Prom King and Queen, her acne had come back. But Annie barely noticed the acne or even Troy. All she had now was her classes and her grades. At the beginning of her last semester at Riverside she enrolled in the maximum amount of classes allowed and all of the advanced courses she could take.

Sure it was a hard load but she'd be able to shove her Full Ride to any University she wanted in Aubrey's face. All she had to do was hunker down, take her pills, study, and ignore the nightmares she had in the few hours of sleep she got every week.

She had a panic attack one day when she reached the bottom of her bottle. "Why is this happening to me?" They'd just had the prescription filled at the beginning of the week. How could they be almost gone already? Annie's stomach fell at the thought of going to school without having taken her medicine. She'd already tried to see what not taking the pills for a week would do. It was too an important a week for this to happen. She was going to be interviewed by the admissions officer of her preferred university.

Instead of going to class that morning, Annie went to Mitchell's office. He wasn't there but the secretary knew her and let her in. She knew Annie as her boss's girlfriend's charming, yet shy daughter. If Annie said that her mom wanted her to get something from the office then that was the truth.

It didn't take Annie more than ten minutes to print out a prescription and then lay it side by side with some of his papers to forge his signature. That proved to be a little more difficult since her hand wouldn't stop shaking. But she finally got the job done and rushed to the local supermarket, exiting triumphantly with a fresh bottle in hand. She made sure to take what she needed before going to school.

She got back to school just before her second hour started. Algebra. Then Lunch, then her interview. So Annie took a moment to straighten up in the bathroom, brush down her long brown hair and straighten the dress she'd selected. One of the few she actually looked good in. Before leaving she popped a couple of pills in her mouth.

Sure she was late to class but she had what she needed. This was going to be the day that she could take that all important step toward college and leave hell behind.

Annie apologized to her teacher for being late and slipped into her desk behind Troy. She had to take a few deep breaths to calm herself and then focus on her studies. But it was difficult. She could hear everything in the room. Each whispered conversation, each errant cough, each pair of eyelids blinking. She could smell the graphite from the pencils and the faint odor of the chemicals that had been used to clean the desks. Even the bubble gum that was pressed underneath them.

"Hey Troy!" someone whispered. "You gotta come with me to lunch today. I found this guy that makes some amazing falafel."

"Yeah alright," Troy said. "I don't even know what that is but we can give it a shot."

Annie gritted her teeth and tried not to hear all the conversations. How could she study with everyone talking and when she couldn't seem to catch a breath? This wasn't fair! She needed to be at her best for her interview! She clearly hadn't taken enough medicine because she couldn't focus. That was what it was supposed to do!

The teacher asked if anybody knew the answer to the problem on the board. Annie sat up straight then gasped at what was written.

_Who's the fattest girl at the school?_

"That's not a math problem!" Annie said out loud then ducked her head down when everybody stared at her.

"What was that Miss Edison?"

Annie glanced to the board to see an equation had replaced the previous writing. Had she looked at it wrong?

"Nothing," she said. "Sorry."

Her classmates kept staring at her. Even with her head down she could feel their eyes judging. She refused to move until she felt them look away. She just kept her head down and focused on breathing and wondered why her heart was pounding like it was. Apart from the knowledge that everyone hated her and knew the answer to the question was "Annie is the Fattest of them All".

Finally she opened her text book but found that she couldn't study because all it had in it was ones and zeroes. Ones and zeroes on every page. Annie kept turning page after page after page but each was the same. She looked up but none of her classmates seemed to be having the same problem. She leaned forward to peek over Troy's shoulder.

Sure enough, ones and zeroes. But Troy didn't seem to notice. He was reading his book just the same as everyone else.

Annie turned the page to her own book and forced herself to stare at the page. At first it was the same as before. Those two damn numbers! But as she stared she realized that it wasn't just random. There was structure and pattern. They were grouped together like sentences and paragraphs. She had to squint because it was starting to get hard to see, like her eyes were tired. Not a surprise, being able to see everything that was hidden was exhausting after all.

Gradually the numbers took meaning. A code. Annie took out her pen, but couldn't find her notebook so she translated the code right onto the surface of the desk. Each second ticked by and her heart pounded more. Whatever was going on was written in this code! She had to find out what was happening. She had to find out why it was happening to her!

When she was done she glanced around. Nobody had noticed her. Annie uncovered the translation, which she'd covered with her notebook that had magically reappeared. Her mouth moved with each word but she was careful not to actually speak. That would only draw attention and give them power. She had hidden knowledge now. Something she could share with the interviewer and ensure she got her scholarship.

_You're program is corrupted. Your wires have shorted. Your mother hates you, __Trent__ thinks you're a slut. Your circuits are damaged and causing your face to break out. They all know. They all know! They hate you because you can see the truth! They hate you because everything about you is wrong! You Annie Edison deserve to be decommissioned. _

Annie dropped her pen, feeling tears in her eyes. Everyone was looking at her now. But it wasn't the typical scornful look that she'd come to know. All of them had glass eyes. Each one lit up from behind by a black light. They were all pointing at her and she could hear the gears move when their elbows straightened. Because her medicine enhanced her senses she knew they couldn't see it the same way. The screws and the lights were invisible to them.

"No." she whispered and hugged her arms to her chest. "Stop it. Stop it!"

She opened her eyes, expecting them to have turned back to their studies, but they were all still pointing at her. No. Not at her! The translation! They were reading it! She dove to her bag and pulled out some Hawthorne wipes and began scrubbing at the desk. She knew she was attracting attention but she had to stop them from reading it!

She sighed once it was wiped clean. But then she looked up and saw that her translation had leaped from her desktop to the chalkboard. Somehow she'd wiped it onto the chalkboard. Now they all knew that she knew!

Her head pounded and each breath labored out of her chest. She looked to Troy. Hoping that he was different. But he'd proved long ago that he wasn't. And now she saw it. Screws on his jaw and glass eyes in the sockets, and an antennae stuck out of the top of his head.

Unable to take it a second longer Annie tore herself from her seat. The entire class stood up in unison, staring at her. Annie screamed and rushed out, clutching her backpack to her chest. She didn't know how she could run. Someone was using her head as a drum and her chest hurt every time her heart assaulted it. Her stomach rolled and she ducked into the nearest bathroom, barely making it to the toilet in time to vomit.

Thankfully nobody had seen her. Nobody had followed. But that wouldn't last. She had to find a way for them to not recognize her. They knew that she knew! They would be coming!

Annie wiped her mouth and went to the nearest mirror. She gasped when she saw herself. Her acne was gone, she'd lost nearly all of her weight. Her hair, normally tangled, filled with split ends and veiling her eyes, was a little shorter but shined like something from a hair salon commercial and worn back so nothing hindered the world from seeing her bright blue eyes. She found herself smiling and saw that the braces were gone. She was a knock out! She was the best looking girl at school! Nobody would recognize her now!

The smile went from astounded to confident and she made to leave the bathroom. But she glanced at the next mirror nearly fell over when she saw what she actually looked like.

Screws in her neck and jaw! Wires tangled and sparking in her hair, one glass eye lit black. Whatever had happened to everyone else happened to her too! She was becoming one of them! They'd recognize her for sure! She had to change! They would be coming! The first mirror was a lie! She was hideous and it was the kind that everyone could see!

Hands shaking, she dove for her bag and retrieved a pair of scissors. Grabbing a chunk of wires in her hair she chopped them off ruthlessly. Each cut hurt but she had to do it! She nodded as she left each bundle of wires and hair in the sink. When she was done, most of the offending wires were gone, though she had to hide some under the hair that remained.

Satisfied, Annie grabbed some make up and started painting over the screws and then the plastic eyelid. But there was no way to cover the eye. Everybody would see it and know immediately. It had to go. Sure she'd go around with only one eye but it would be her human eye and not the robot one that would reveal her to everybody else.

Shaky hands clutched the scissors and Annie raised the blades to her face. Just a few quick cuts and it would be done. She released the scissors with one hand and gripped her eyelids with her fingers stretching them as wide as she could. Her head throbbed and she took a breath, ready to jab the scissors in.

But the door opened and a girl shrieked. Annie dropped the scissors and charged at the door, barely having time to grab her backpack. The girl's shrieks turned into some sort of mechanical whine. Annie screamed as well, tears streaming out in dark lines of mascara down her cheeks.

Lunch break had begun and all her classmates were out now! All of them could see her! She could see all of the wires and batteries and metal. Most of them stared in confusion, many of them laughed synthetically. Annie sobbed and charged forward. She had to get to her interview! She had to tell him what she knew!

She couldn't run a straight line and her legs felt like lead. Of course they did. They _were_ lead! Her head spun and the next thing she knew she crashed into Aubrey Adaams. Both them went down with a clang. Annie's bottle of pills flew out and popped open when it hit the ground. Pills spilled out over the ground and Annie screamed.

The pills were the only way she could see this! She'd still be ignorant if not for them! Ignorant like them! None of them knew what they were! They just knew that she knew! And she realized that she had to tell them! She had to let them know.

"We're robots!" She hollered as she jumped up and kept running. "We're all robots! Can't you see! We're robots!"

Annie's eyes focused on the sunlight ahead of her. It spoke to her.

"Come on Annie!" the sun said. "You can do it! You just have to get outside! Come to me! That's it run, run! They're trying to stop you! Out here everything is good! Out here you're the girl in the mirror! Come on Annie!"

Elated that someone, even the sunlight, sympathized, Annie burst toward it, stretching out her arms, still screaming the truth she'd just learned. She pressed on but still had a hard time keeping a straight line. She shoved a few people out of her way and picked up speed. Nearly to the light!

"Thank you!" she called when she reached it. But instead of being embraced by the light, her world spun and pain carved into her arms and side. The next thing she knew she was laying on the ground bleeding. Robots were screaming but their voices were gradually becoming more human. Her eyes strained to see. She was outside… face down. She tired to get up but there must have been a boulder on her back or something because she couldn't move. She was trapped. Her vision swam and went out of focus. The whispers and the voices disappeared and she closed her eyes. One final thought crossed her mind before she slipped into unconsciousness.

"Why is this happening to me?"

When Annie woke up she was on a stretcher. She had a tube in her arm and paramedics bustled around her, getting ready to take her out of the ambulance. The doors opened and her mother was there, her eyes slightly puffy but for the most part she looked as stoic as ever. Annie heard mentions of detox and getting another i.v. ready. Her arms were covered in bandages and she could feel one on her head.

Her mom regarded her for a moment then something called her attention away from Annie. The paramedics were still working when another voice came out. She couldn't see who it belonged to, but since it was addressing her mother she was reasonably sure that it wasn't in her head.

"Ms. Lieber?" a confident voice came out. "It is Lieber right?"

"That's the name I go by now," her mother confirmed.

"Thought so. A friend of mine, Alan Connor handled your divorce. Hi I'm Jeff Winger, Attorney at Law."

"Mr. Winger this really isn't a good time-"

"I know you think that but trust me, it's the _best_ time! I heard about the accident your daughter had. I think that we can get a solid case against the school board for having glass that thin. It's a crime what happened and with my help, you'll get every nickel you deserve for your daughters suffering. Those schoolboard trustees are going to try and sweep it under the rug but we can get a class action—"

"I've heard enough Winger!" Annie's mother snapped. "This _needs_ to be swept under the rug! I'm not traipsing my daughter in front of an entire court room full of teachers and district employees! Then everyone will know what kind of girl I have! Now if you'll do me a favor and leave I'll do what's best for my daughter!"

The paramedics were already taking her out of the ambulance. Annie strained to see the attorney but was blocked by a paramedic's chest. She looked up at the man that suddenly realized she was awake.

"She's regained consciousness! Let's get her inside! Are we safe to put her under?"

"Yeah! If she's awake she's going to be feeling it those cuts."

"This will help you sleep," the paramedic said in a soothing voice. But he swore when the wheels of the stretcher locked and they had to struggle to get them moving. This gave Annie a few more moments to try and see the man her mother was talking to. Josh… what was it? Already, she was having a hard time remembering his name.

"Look Ms. Lieber," he said. "I know this seems crazy right now, and you're probably wondering what to do. Maybe even asking 'why is this happening'. That's what we all do in situations like this. But I can tell you that there's a reason why this happened to your daughter…"

"I'm not telling you her name!"

"Okay well there's a reason this is happening to her. She's going to pull through. The scars will heal, she'll get through rehab and go onto some great college. And she'll probably do great things, go great places, and meet great people! Maybe this is what happens to get her there!"

"Ha! Get her where? Some peanut gallery surrounded by people like you?"

"If she's really lucky. All I'm saying is that your daughter is going to be fine, but she'll be even better off if you guys get some payback from those that did this to her. And maybe that's the reason why this happened. So you guys can cash in big on the dirtbags that used 'made in Taiwan' quality glass at a school! Think of how much faster she'll heal if—ow! Hey what's the big idea! Okay I'm going I'm going! Just take my card! Okay ow!"

"Creep," one of the paramedics grumbled and the wheels finally unlocked. "Damn ambulance chaser. I hope he gets his."

"I know right?" Another agreed.

The new drug was already kicking in and Annie was losing consciousness. For one brief moment she thought she caught a glimpse of the man that had spoken to her mother. But she couldn't remember it. She just thought it was the kind of face she would like to see.

And even though she couldn't remember his name or what he looked like afterward. She remembered snippets of what he said. About healing, moving on and doing great things. She remembered that someone was saying that there was a reason everything was happening. And maybe even if he didn't believe it, that didn't make it untrue. For Annie, _because_ someone else was saying it, that _made_ it true. Maybe she'd even meet those people and do those things he said. And maybe she'd meet the girl she saw in the mirror.


End file.
